Author: r3coachingelevated

🗣️Control Your Temper 👈🏽

WHY?

🔸Things are not always as bad as they seem.
🔹Your emotions aren’t constant, they change from one minute to the next and so does your perspective of it.
🔺What offends you now probably won’t offend you later.
🔻There’s a lesson in every chaotic situation.

It’s no use getting hype over something that won’t affect you hours from now because after you’ve calmed down and processed the situation you’ll look at it differently.

Operating in an 👉🏽angry😤 state takes away time ⏰ you don’t have to waste and energy you don’t have to give.

Look BEYOND what provokes you paying no attention to petty stuff.

Get proactive in ignoring narrow-minded people whose sole mission is to take you out of character.

Are you in a vicious cycle? 👈🏽🤷🏽‍♀️

🎯 Do you know what that means?

😔Have you been struggling with leaving a relationship or marriage?

😩Have you left only to find yourself right back in the situation a few weeks or months later?

😒You’re stressed, you’re being disrespected and tolerating more than what’s necessary for no reason at all 🤨

Yet you still remain stuck in a situation you know serves no purpose ❌

You 🫵🏽 question why you still stay because you deserve better ✅

Venting seems to help so you talk to those who will listen, they share advice but somehow you’re still confused 🫤

Why? 🤷🏽‍♀️

You’re confused because you refuse to see and accept the obvious. You look for validation from others but don’t realize everything you need to make a sound decision is within you!

You know what needs to be done but something’s holding you back from moving forward.

🤔What is it⁉️

😯👉🏽Your inability to see truth, accept it and focus on what matters most (you). You’re too busy looking in the past at the good times, holding on to the possibilities of what could be but (isn’t). You’re holding on to 📌familiarity. What you’ve allowed in your life for so long has become normal until you don’t know anything different.

It’s time to let it go❗️ if it serves no purpose. Life’s too short and time is too precious to be participating in someone else’s circus. Let them be clowns 🤡 all on their own.

Join me to help a mother and child with the resources needed to get into their home. Be a blessing, receive a blessing. Thank you ❤️.

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Are you tired of the constant excuses? Excuses from people who seem to know what to say to get out of a tight jam. Smooth talkers/gift of gab? People that make excuses on a regular basis about things they need to change but don’t. The manipulators. Year after year no growth, no change or elevation in any area of their life. Same behavior, same mindset. The complacent. People who end up in sticky situations but somehow get out of them. Say they will change but only temporarily and sometimes not at all. Lucky ones. In a relationship with someone you’re constantly bumping heads with, arguing over things that won’t matter tomorrow or next week only to hear them say they’re sorry and they won’t do it again and a month later it’s more of the same. Liars.  Perhaps you’re tired of surrounding yourself with people that need to stop acting and reacting in the manner they do but tell you they know what they need to do but still don’t do it anyway. Deniers. Shift the heat off them by criticizing or using others as an example. Hypocrites.  

Have you come to a point where you no longer want to associate yourself with them? You don’t want to talk to them, be around them or continue any involvement? In some cases, it can easily be done and for others it can’t. You simply have no other option but to deal with them. So, you’re left with one option, find ways to handle it. So, what do you do? You become bold by speaking up and calling them out on their mess. You start to exercise silence and listen to the ignorance that comes out of their mouth. Thinking to yourself if they only knew how unintelligent they sound they would be quiet. You start to question if something is wrong with you for not seeing it sooner and for being caught up. This is for family members, past relationships and situationships.

What you’re experiencing is growth. You have outgrown that person and that situation. You’ve set healthy boundaries to protect you and you value yourself and your happiness. You realize you can’t expect much from people because they aren’t on the journey you’re on so therefore they don’t get it like you get it. The obvious is not obvious to them. They haven’t taken the blinders off yet. Still running around the same circle with no end expecting a different result. They are entangled in a web of constant excuses that will ultimately dismantle everything good in their life. But don’t worry, eventually life will force them to take out the thorn in their eyes causing them not to see.

Stepping into your purpose with a purpose will cause you to see far beyond what you’d expect and see things clearer. Your perspective elevates. You’ll protect your peace more. You’ll become comfortable with saying no and leaving well enough alone. You’ll walk into and embrace what’s for you and not think twice about what’s not. When you step into the favor placed over your life others will see the grace upon & within you. Don’t worry about the time in between it takes others to realize the obvious. Understand they will in due time. Keep your focus. When you become tired of the excuses you’ll know, and you won’t have to worry about your handling of the situation because it will come naturally. When you’ve become tired, it simply means you’ve outgrown a person, place or thing and the situation. It means you value yourself, your time, space, boundaries, beliefs, and peace. The decision to make a change is easy but actions associated to that change are not. The question is how tired are you?

Seeking Validation from Dysfunctional Relationships: How to recognize you’re doing it and how to stop

What is Validation?

Validation is checking or proving the accuracy of something. It is making or declaring something legally or officially acceptable. It is recognition or affirmation that a person or their feelings and opinions are valid and worthwhile. Oxford languages.

What are Dysfunctional Relationships?

Dysfunctional relationships are relationships that aren’t functioning well. They are toxic. They serve no clear purpose. They are intimate relationships, social relationships with friends, family, co-workers, significant others, etc. These are relationships that bring out negative emotions which are filled with pain, struggle, and challenges instead of peace, joy, and happiness.

What does it look like?

Consistently seeking validation from people who have rejected you, an apology, someone acknowledging “your right”, praise, feeling accepted, being valued and more. You struggle with brief moments of escape. When things get tough and longing sets in you want to return. You turn back because it’s familiar. Your heart and emotions send impulsive behaviors to your mind for you to act; do something. You reject the new because its unfamiliar. It’s new and you have no experience with it so you’re left in a fearful state. We have a solution. Connect today.

Personal Growth & Personal Development

Sure we all, at some point, think we have it all together. My life is great. There’s nothing I need to change. I know what’s best for me and nobody can tell me anything or give advice because they aren’t living a godly life. They have a past filled with stuff (baggage) so they aren’t qualified to tell me about mine. NEWS FLASH. Yes, they can. Why? They have experience. They have wisdom that can save you a great deal of heartache and pain. The have testimonies that will shake you to your core and motivate you to live right.

The truth of the matter is that we all are learning how to live life. We all fall short and come up empty handed at times. When life hits you, you fall down and it seems like you just can’t catch a break. You find yourself down more than you do up. It’s in those moments you realize you need a little bit of help. You realize you’ve been going through life shifting blame, finding fault in others and freeing yourself from everything that’s happened to you. You’ve caused your infatuation of control to control you. Now you’re a mess and things are way out of control and you don’t know what to do.

There’s help to understanding where you went wrong, what you need to do to become free of the entanglement you find yourself in and how to commit and embrace change. Connect with me today.

Hey You, yes …Can You Feel It??

Feel the struggle ending

Peace that surpasses all understanding

The spirit of discernment

Transformation

Renewing of your mind

The chains being broken off of every area of your life that’s been weighing you down

Things that once mattered doesn’t matter anymore

You’re experiencing the FULL affects that come from surrendering it ALL to God. You’ve prayed, you were sincere and you expected the impossible to become possible.

One mighty move of God in your life will make you a believer and an advocate for Him. Your hunger to share your testimony with others can’t be contained.

This is maturity This is growth This is freedom to express yourself without reservation or fear This is LIVING

Keep praying & watch Him work

Men you are the most misunderstood, underappreciated, and often overlooked creatures of all on the planet. Why? You do what you can for who you can, and your actions are seen as something you are supposed to do. Who said it’s a requirement that you must take care of others? Men go out of their way to provide, profess, and protect and it’s seen as the way it’s supposed to be because you are a man. Is it not an individual’s job to provide for themselves? Men work hard, build, and establish a kingdom and you’re told you need someone inside it other than yourself to make it a home. They say you need someone to share your hard work with. Since when can’t men make their kingdom a home? Since when is it not a thing for them to take their time and find a wife when they feel ready to do so? Men father children and is present in their lives, support and there to guide them but it’s seen as they ought too because women been doing it for years. Ladies, you get recognition all the time. Although some see it as men are fronting and it’s not genuine.

The point is what men do is followed by a watered-down excuse not highlighting, praising, or recognizing the honest and pureness of a man. Men have the whole world placed upon their shoulders as soon as they walk out the door in the mornings. They are met with stressors from every direction until they walk back in the door of their home.

What they need more of is love, support, respect and well everything women require and ask for but don’t give. Requiring someone to give you the world but you not being able to give it back in return is preposterous. Society has placed a very high standard on our men and quite frankly its impossible for men to keep up with the ever-changing demands of the world he is surrounded by. Raise up your men. Support your men. Recognize your men. Love your men. Respect your men.

Men are showing you who they are but if its not recognized or appreciated as such they change it up. They change it up because they are doing what they can with what they have and it’s not good enough for you. When they change then the negative talk really becomes amplified. Who’s to blame? Who’s in fault for making a difficult situation more difficult?

Men keep living your life the best way you know how, following God, serving others, and taking care of your responsibilities. Don’t spend valuable time worried about the negative talk circulating about what you do and don’t do. As long as you can sleep peacefully at night knowing you’ve done all you can, don’t stress about the rest. As a woman who understands, I salute you!

Are you or someone you know struggling with a situation or the after affects of a breakup? It can be difficult to rise above the aftermath of an unfortunate situation or ending a relationship that wasn’t serving you. Has it left you devastated, depressed or angry?

Making a decision can be the most difficult thing you have to do and putting action behind that decision is just as hard. You find yourself questioning if you made the right decision because you are left feeling awful. And well you start to second guess yourself and the choice you made. I want to tell you there is hope and a solution to the madness you find yourself in. You don’t have to feel weighed down after knowing you made the right decision to exit a relationship or a situation you found yourself in. Grab a copy of the Escape Technique to learn more on:

How to identify and accept you’re in a relationship going nowhere. How to recognize when it’s time to exit a situation that no longer serves you. Dos and don’ts after a break-up. A set of skills to gain the strength and courage to be bold enough to break habits, close doors and avoid walking through them again. How to avoid making the same mistakes. Techniques to eliminate the madness you’ve allowed to control your life. Discover your identity and identify what self-love means to you. Master the escape technique to free yourself from past relationships and situations and more!

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I try hard to stay clear of using the words 👉🏽never and always👈🏽. Why? 🤷🏽‍♀️ It’s hard to say what you will never do until you find yourself in that position and intense pressure is placed upon you.

Always is over selling because I don’t believe anything is always as it seems or is as constant as it’s claimed to be.

The next time you’re having a conversation with someone catch yourself when you’re on the verge of saying never and always. Situations change from one person to the next. And you maybe the one in a position you didn’t think you’d ever be in or find yourself having to make a choice or decision you didn’t think you would have to make.

Be open to any and everything if it serves a clear purpose in your life. And don’t judge others for the choices and decisions they make. You don’t know the struggle until you become a part of the struggle.