Coaching Elevated

Category: Blog

  • Conversations for Real-Life Relationships: The Questions We Avoid

    Hey Ya’ll! Let’s have some healthy conversations, shall we? I want to hear from you. What are your thoughts on these conversation starters that are coming up in real-life relationships?

    These questions aren’t meant to rush decisions, but to slow us down long enough to choose wisely and make the best decision for ourselves, not neglecting to examine all moving parts. Sharing your perspective and experiences may help someone else.

    The mission is to be real and relatable, and to promote resilience. I’ve experienced all of these, and I questioned. Did I always follow through and make sure “Kisha” was doing what was best for her? Absolutely not because I let the emotion “love” cloud my judgment vs using discernment in all things, which would have allowed me to make the best decision for my life.

    Uncertainty Before Marriage

    Before marriage, how much uncertainty is normal, and at what point does uncertainty become something we shouldn’t ignore?

    Refusal to Do Inner Work & Accountability

    Can a relationship remain healthy if one partner avoids inner work and accountability, or does love slowly turn into emotional labor?

    Financial Independence

    How important is financial independence in a relationship, and how does it impact confidence, choice, and freedom?

    A Safe & Secure Home

    Why is having a stable, secure home more than a physical need, and how does it affect emotional safety and decision-making?

    A Trustworthy Support System

    Why is it essential to have a support system outside of your partner- people you can trust, lean on, and be honest with?

    Multiple Streams of Income

    In today’s world, is having additional or consistent streams of income about fear or wisdom and stewardship?

  • The Root of Relational Problems

    When a person lacks emotional availability, affection, warmth, attunement, intentional intimacy, desire, pursuit, validation, emotional safety, and reciprocity. There will be tension in any relationship.

    Why?

    They are emotionally distant, disengaged, and not attuned to your inner self. They lack physical touch, tenderness, and reassurance. They fail to notice you, your appearance, your efforts, your milestones, and your needs. Sex becomes a chore without foreplay, passion, or connection, making it feel transactional rather than bonding. There’s no active pursuit of you, which is essential for developing intimacy. When they give compliments, it’s often only after you’ve said something, so they don’t feel like genuine expressions of desire. They just react. We also can’t forget the joking, coldness, dismissiveness, or ignoring, which further creates distance and insecurity. A simple touch matters, and affection and connection do too, but if it’s not reciprocated, that love begins to feel empty. 

    If what I described is something you’re experiencing, it’s important to understand the patterns because they often point to a person’s emotional immaturity, avoidant attachment, low emotional intelligence, sexual disengagement, relational complacency, and unresolved internal issues such as stress, resentment, shame, depression, addiction, identity confusion, and much more.

    The person receiving this kind of behavior may start to question their worth, crave attention, passion, and connection outside the relationship, and become emotionally vulnerable to outside validation.  All are valid, but I place more emphasis on the last part because that is a strong warning sign, not a failure on the person who is thinking and feeling it.

    So, here’s the thing: if this sounds like you, you’re not asking for too much. You’re asking for the basics, especially for married people. Affection, desire, attention, passion, and presence. These are foundational. You’re not crazy, you’re responding to being unseen and neglected, avoided and possibly incompatible.

    If this is you, you may be wondering how to address this. Well, I’m glad you asked before your heart drifts elsewhere or resentment deepens. There needs to be a direct, serious, non-joking conversation that takes place. A clear, straight-to-the-point conversation about how it is affecting you emotionally and spiritually, and your boundaries around what you will and will not continue to accept. Pay close attention to how they respond. Do they respond with willingness to self-reflect on their behaviors, actions, and your feelings, or are they quick to deflect and dismiss?

    If you’re met with jokes, if they minimize, or place responsibility solely on you, that confirms the emotional disconnect, and it’s something that cannot be healed by you trying harder. Although I cannot advise you on what you should do next with that discovery, I’ll leave you with this: do not make any rational decisions until you’ve thought everything through with a clear mind and understanding of what your decision will look like after you make it.

    You deserve to feel wanted without begging, you deserve intimacy that feels alive, not obligatory, and you deserve a person who sees you.

    After all, it’s Christmas time, a time of love, laughter, joy, and togetherness.

  • You Don’t Need Botox to Be Beautiful

    A message for women. And I know it won’t resonate with all and that’s alright. However, I’m still gone deliver the message anyway.

    Stop with the Botox. Stop with the face lifts and surgeries. Sure it’s your money and your body….your prerogative. I hear you.

    You look fake. You look hard, not feminine, and unrecognizable. It sends a strong message that underneath the fillers, the tweaks, cuts, and lifts you’re not fully embracing your uniqueness. Which is a strong possibility that self-love needs attention.

    Change is inevitable.
    Aging is beautiful.
    Love “becoming” in all phases of life.

    This message isn’t to shame anyone who feels they need it but it’s a meaningful reminder that I hope impacts the way you comfortably see yourself.

    Self-love, confidence, self-esteem and inner strength comes from standing in who you are and all that comes with that as time passes.

  • What Is Your Spiritual Gift?

    What is your spiritual gift?

    Do you know?

    If not, let’s talk about it because understanding your spiritual gift changes how you walk, how you serve, and how you hear God.

    The Bible teaches that there are nine spiritual gifts given by the Holy Spirit to believers in Jesus Christ. Not every person receives all nine gifts. The Holy Spirit distributes them according to the will of the Father, and at times He may operate through more than one gift in a person to meet a specific need or assignment.

    So let’s dive a little deeper.

    There are three categories of spiritual gifts:

    Vocal (Inspirational) Gifts

    • Speaking in tongues

    • Interpretation of tongues

    Revelation Gifts

    • Discerning of spirits

    • Word of knowledge

    • Word of wisdom

    Power Gifts

    • Gift of faith

    • Gifts of healing

    • Working of miracles

    Many times, these gifts work together to accomplish God’s purpose and advance His mission.

    Now let me ask you this…

    Have you activated your spiritual gift yet?

    If not ask me how. Because as a current Bible college student, I’m just becoming aware of mine!

    For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a strong sense about people and situations—especially through what I hear and see. I could often tell when something was truth or a lie, when someone was genuine or operating with ulterior motives. Even in my early twenties, I found myself able to recognize whether something was aligned with Scripture or not without always knowing why.

    I didn’t realize that what I was experiencing was me operating in my spiritual gift until this year, when I began Bible college.

    Here’s the thing: if you don’t intentionally pay attention to God, the Holy Spirit will only be as present in your life as you allow Him to be.

    Now that I’m fully aware of the gift God has given me, I’m operating in it with clarity and confidence. What I once called intuition, instincts, vibes, or a hunch was actually the Holy Spirit activating the gift of discerning of spirits in my life.

    And let me tell you awareness changes everything.

    So I challenge you to:

    • Study the Word

    • Show yourself approved

    • Ask God for your gift

    • Receive the Holy Spirit

    • Walk boldly in the will of God

    It’s all for His purpose and to edify the church.

    Father, I thank You for my gift.

    Thank You for loving Your child, Takisha.

    And so I will leave you with…..yup you guessed it a call to action

    If this resonated with you and you’re wondering what your spiritual gift is or how to activate it, comment “GIFTED”, send me a message.

  • Have you ever performed on stage or given a speech?

    Have you ever performed on stage or given a speech?

    Absolutely I have. At first I thought it was the most terrifying task. Like, how dare someone ask me to get in front of a room full of people and speak with out asking me if this was something I wanted or felt comfortable doing.

    However, that initial thought dissipated about 5 minutes in when I looked out in the crowd and saw them engaging, smiling, and cheering me on.

    So guess what! As a communications major I have conquered the fear of speaking but who are we fooling if we don’t admit we get nervous every time we have a presentation to give, an announcement to make, or something involving us being center of attention.

    It’s my profession now and although it was intimidating I now own it with ease and excitement.

    So if this is you and you can relate….deep breaths….breathe in….breathe out… hold your head up with confidence even if you’re nervous and uncomfortable don’t let them see you sweat! You’ve got this! 🙌🏾

  • Perlious Times

    This week in Bible college we are summarizing Pauls farewell letter. In doing so I realize a lot of the reasons I safe gaurd myself from certain people. For example I’ve never cared too much for a bragger or a person that pretends to be someone they are not. Quickest way to loose all association with me. For the longest I’ve been able to spot a fake and now I understand my gift. I haven’t always operated in it because I ignored it.

    When you know, you just know. You can sense the boasting, the pretending, and the constant need people have to prove they’re doing better than they really are. Paul warned us about this in 2 Timothy 3:1–6. People who love themselves, love money, brag, deceive, and put on a form of godliness while they are far from it. There’s so much of this casually being done and accepted.

    If people would let go of this competition mentality, they’d realize they don’t have to resemble the very characteristics Paul described. So many are making excuses for why they can’t take a stand and live upright, why they keep hurting others, pretending, and choosing the comfort of lies over the work of truth. Honestly, that kind of living feels exhausting to me.

    Underneath all the hard coverings and false narratives is the essence of who a person really is. And if you don’t like that person? Change it. Do something about it. God gives us the power to transform, but we have to be willing to let go of the ways of this world.

    I challenge those to stop living in alignment with the very “perilous men” Paul spoke of 👉🏽 people driven by pride, pleasure, and false speech. Because if you continue, people will turn away from you. You’ll find yourself isolated, not because others are wrong, but because you chose a path that leads to emptiness.

    I wasn’t trying to preach but when the Holy Spirit gives you a message it needs to be said. If it offends you that means it pertains to you.

    With love. ✌🏽

  • God Restores….

    One year ago today, I lost a lot and was going through alot. The job I enjoyed for 3.5 years… the steady income I depended on… the roof over my head…people trying to take advantage of me for their benefit and the sense of purpose I thought I had found.

    Almost two years before that, I had already started rebuilding a life for me and my children. I was finally getting to know myself, discovering what I wanted, and finding my own way. I picked up new hobbies, learned to enjoy my own company, and embraced the quiet moments that helped me grow. For the first time, I found peace, clarity, and a resilience I never knew lived inside me.

    But I also learned something else:
    When you find God…
    When you discover your purpose…
    When you walk boldly in who you truly are…It can irritate the mess out of those who haven’t found theirs. 💯

    You see what was meant to break me, block me, or serve someone else’s hidden agenda, God took it and turned it around! 🙌🏾 You know the scripture that warns people not to touch God’s chosen ones? Or the one that says He will prepare a table in the presence of your enemies? That means God will restore you, sustain you, and elevate you so all can see.

    And I’m living proof.

    What I thought was the end was actually the beginning… The beginning of restoration for me. God was faithful and kept His promise to me when He said I would lack for nothing. That scripture took on a whole new meaning for me!

    Today, I’m married.
    I have a beautiful home.
    A steady and secure income.
    I’m a ministry leader.
    A business owner.
    And a woman walking fully in purpose.

    And beyond all that, I now have wisdom, insight, discernment, and awareness of things I used to ignore. I have a peace that surpasses all understanding. I have security, calmness, and joy. Most of all, I have my identity, my courage, and the power to shape my life and pour into others with a mission unlike any other.

    I am thankful, grateful, and blessed that God keeps His hand on me. I am living proof that He already had my life planned out.

    It’s amazing what can happen in just ONE year when God directs your steps.
    Praise Him because He is worthy! Today, one year later I have so much JOY!

    My message to you that are going through a similar situation….hold on because He is about to do a thing!

  • Today’s Message

    IF YOU HAVE THE VINE YOU HAVE LOVE AND JOY in your life. Your branches will be plentiful. 💛

    Today being the last 1st sunday of the year, where we take cummion, I encourage you to start today building a foundation. A foundation is solid when He is first. Everything built upon that foundation will stand regardless of what’s meant to destroy it. Starting over shouldn’t produce fear, worry or doubt because He’s giving you time to rebuild the correct way. Don’t delay.

    Let go of past church hurt, ridicule, the pain and suffering you’ve experienced from unforeseen circumstances and events that have caused you to doubt His worthiness of your full and undivided attention and unconditional love.

    HE is still waiting to receive you! Let it be today. There’s still hope and in Him all things are possible.

  • How Do You Feel About Women Preachers/Teachers?

    Let’s engage in a healthy, biblical dialogue.

    I’m 42 years old, and for as long as I can remember, I have been told that women are not supposed to preach, be in the pulpit, wear head coverings, and so forth when speaking in the church.

    As I read the word for myself, I thank God for giving me the gift of discernment. The hunger to want to know more of His word. He said, “Seek and ye shall find”.

    Paul himself urged the church of Rome to warmly welcome and assist Phoebe in her role as a leader, a helper, and a servant (deacon) of the church. Romans 16:1-2. So what others so loosely say “a woman is not supposed to preach/teach” is it true or false? God calls and anoints not man.

    It may not mean much to some, but to me, when I come across scriptures that speak to the very things that were instilled in me at a young age, shining light on their inaccurate teaching, it makes me fall much deeper in love with God. I asked Him for the spirit of discernment, wisdom, and to help guide me to the truths of His word in areas of my life where I need it most.

    He delivers every single time. Share your thoughts on what you think.

  • Stop Casually Dating

    As I’m leaving Kroger, I see a mother and father exchange – their child, who can’t be more than about 6 months old, if that. I’m reminded how men and women often—too often—hook up. They do so with no real intentions, stability, or future goals in mind. It’s all for a good time. Well, that is until a child comes into the picture. Then, the fun is over, and everything goes up in smoke. 💨

    📣 Men, stop casually dating, getting women pregnant, and selling the dream only to NOT be what you claimed. Stop being the root cause of broken homes, one-parent homes, and fatherless children.

    📣 Women, stop being so easily persuaded. Laying down without protecting your body, heart, and life before you’re ready. Say no to having a man’s baby without truly knowing who you’re having a child with. Don’t fall for the man who is a smooth talker, wine and dines you, and smells or looks fly.

    Let’s do better for the children we bring into this world. They deserve the best of both, and you simply can’t be that if you’re divided!

    Somebody needs to hear this. Raising kids as a single mother or single father is NO joke! Shout out to all the single mothers and fathers out there!